two wonderful days

I really shouldn't limit wonderful days to two, but space and time can only contain so many thoughts.

Yesterday was amazing. The day was pretty normal as far as days go, except that I decided to do without coffee - don't ask me why. My sister was like, "Of all days to give up your caffeine routine you chose your birthday?" I don't really know why, I just went for the tea bag instead of the coffee pot when I got to work and I never switched over. Needless to say, my energy level was quite a bit lower than normal:) ... But I accomplished a lot at work and had a chance to get to know another intern (who took me out to LUNCH at a great Thai place!)

As I was waiting for the bus, I fleshed out an analogy I'd been thinking on for awhile about our lives and how we plan. I've had the darndest time figuring out how to plan around public transportation. The thing is: I'm going to get there, wherever it is. I leave at the same time every morning and I go to the Red Line el(subway). It usually comes at the same time, but I never know. Then I rendezvous to the Blue Line, where I may have to wait 5 or 15 minutes, then I finally get to the transit center where I hope to catch the 7:40 bus. Even if I don't make all my connections (like the day we had to evacuate the el and take shuttles because a car had landed on the tracks) I still get there. Is it just me or is that divinely applicable?

I have always liked to know... micromanaging seems like the best way to make sure I get things done and the way they should be. But, I canNOT control the public transportation system - I'm merely one person in its wider maze. I can plan to catch the 3:47 bus, but leave at 4:15. My plans don't carry any weight... and I've come to see the beauty in that. It's not about me, it's not up to me, and it doesn't depend on me. Isn't this like my life?

(on to more blessed stories)
I met one of my bus friends both in the morning and afternoon and he was so kind and genuine. He sang me the "shorty it's your birthday song," which brought a smile. He also said something that will stick for a long time. It was after I had told him what book I was reading (Desiring God by John Piper) and where I went to church that he said, "Well, I knew you had faith the first time I saw you. Riding the bus... you just get observant about people and you got this thing about you." Wow. Glory to God for His light - He is recognized by His creation!

I also was delightfully surprised by a couple of friends who left gifts on my bed before they left for the weekend. People are so thoughtful and it makes life beautiful!

So... then I met my friends Jenna and Lis at Jenna's apartment downtown. How beautiful and blessed I am to know these girls. I seriously can not explain God's power in bringing us together and allowing us to be so close in such a short time. We made fajitas (which turned out amazing, I might add) and had the most memorable celebration! We had a chance to bond and share about our lives, struggles, and dreams. They both have such special gifts... they are people the Lord will use! I could go on and on about them, but I have to hurry or I'll lose steam!

Okay, so then today I got to spend with a family from my hometown. It felt so great to be around people who know me and my roots!! This refreshing day came just at the right time - I had so much fun talking, laughing, and fellowshipping. We did a lot of things I still hadn't done since I came - Navy Pier, Sears Tower, Hershey's store, lunch at Buca di Beppo's, pictures at the bean. We sure walked a lot, but any of my friends would tell you that's how I like it! :)

I'm reading in Acts right now for college group about the first church and I am feeling the blessed community even now. Breaking bread, sharing, and living with grateful hearts was huge today - I had to much to give praise for! It was so neat to talk to each of them and hear/give updates. People are beautiful! I hate to think that I'm using that word too often, but God's beauty is evident in His children!
The long story (short version) is: we started at 10 and went til 7. We really saw Chicago and I was blessed til my calves ached and toes hurt and I loved every single moment.

one last thing I have to add: I felt love from home like a giant wave!! On Thursday I got packages from my parents and grandparents - so happy! And my mom somehow found exactly the right hostess outfit - cute, funky, and classy all rolled into one! But - no there was more - a FOOT MASSAGER! I know - I'm about to go hook it up right now! And my grandparents are just as thoughtful - sugar free candies (my favorite - in moderation... that's a whole other story!), wonderful coffee drink mixes, and some super khakis. I feel so blessed! Along with calls from loved ones, I don't know how my days could have been sweeter.

getting ahead of myself

Okay, I know I will have to go back and re-tell, but I can't pass this story up. After a long day walking the Windy City with the Groves family (more later), I switched out my black flats for tennies and headed for some laptop/chai time.

In our wanderings today, I explained my perspective on homeless people, which is: I stop when I know I can really invest by asking "What is it that you really need right now?" and then I try to ignore what is convenient for me and focus on what is most beneficial for them. It's funny how God calls us to act so quickly. On my way here, I came upon a homeless man and immediately felt the Lord saying: Child, I want to see your words and faith in action: feed Me. I asked him what he needed and he "just wanted something to eat, ma'am." He didn't seem picky, so I looked around for the closest fast food joint when I spotted another man who asked me directions to Johnny Rockets.

I pointed North and then said I was just about to go there myself. So, I found out this second man's name was Andre and he was in town from the Bay area for a grant-writing conference. The more we talked the more we had in common - we shared a passion for coming alongside the 'least of these.' I was so full of joy to have met him! He works mainly with people coming out of the prison system and trying to reacclimate into society. He finally came around and said he was a pastor at a church out there - 80% of his congregation are from the prison system. WOW. what a bold, hard road! We waited for our food and kept sharing the heart the Lord has given us to serve the downtrodden... how encouraging that he would be in town, at that intersection, at that time when I met the other man. Who can say the Lord is not sovereign?

We walked back and I was so full. I gave the food to the other man - double cheeseburger and warm applie pie. I guessed that would be something different and filling - something my brother James would order. Andre and I talked about how church is the time to be renewed to go back out and live during the week. YES... I resonated! I see myself returning to the Spring only to have it overflow the whole week. I felt overflowing today! How blessed we are. I will pray for Andre and his church - Born Again Christian Church (I believe).

Lonny and Cheesecake and snow

the windy city has turned white today. I looked out my boss' window and it took me awhile to realize that the fat, white puffs I was seeing were actually winter's first appearance. I am certainly not ready - this is surely a false alarm!

Last night we endured the wind and made it to the famous Cheesecake Factory for dessert to celebrate (early) my birthday with friends. We all (12) squeezed into a booth for 7 and had a quite a time choosing from the overwhelming and delicious menu. I ended up going plain jane - original with strawberries. My plate came complete with Happy Birthday lettering and a candle - how special! It rivals my own family tradition of the special plate (it's really just a maroon plate, but only the birthday child got to use it, so it had much significance!), but doesn't quite make the cut. My birthday plate always had lima beans, which is an ingredient I am quick to suggest for an innovative new cheesecake recipe. My friends are great - I love each and every one. Even though I see them less and less, I love who they are and their joy for life and fun.

Now to my story about Lonny... I know this is going to sound sketchy regardless of how I write it, so I must preface it by saying that I do sincerely believe the Lord directed our conversations, meetings, and I felt truly blessed to have met him.

On Saturday, as part of my weekend ritual, I woke up extra early and set out for my day. I had already been in and out of the apartment several times, but as I headed off to find a place to read, I ran into this man on the corner who was asking for 30 cents (I later found out that he had calculated that if he asked 15 people for 30 cents he could get a bus pass).

Well, it’s getting a lot easier for me to stop and talk and I had time. So, I found out his name was Lonny, and he was trying to get up North to see his daughter. After we had talked for awhile I had determined he wasn’t drunk and I didn’t think he was trying to play me… so we kept talking. I told him I’d buy him a bus pass and we started walking there and he mentioned he was hungry. Dunkin’ Donuts was conveniently across the street and I said “order anything you want.” See, I had learned from another homeless friend Vera about this. Why shouldn’t they have the same privilege of a full menu that I do? Why should they have to eat my scraps and be thankful? (Another soap box another time)

Anyway, in this whole process we starting talking about the Lord and I gave him a tract with John 14:6. He’d just gotten out of the drink (jail), but he appeared to be very familiar with God’s promises. We talked some more and I sent him on his way, saying we’d meet again if God intended and I would pray for him. Well, we did meet again that same day. Things didn’t turn out so well at his ex-girlfriends and he needed some more bus money to see his brother to get some clothes.

We had a long conversation and we were able to speak specifically about Christ being my Savior and Treasure. I could tell his heart was soft for the message – others had gone before me planting and watering and I was watering again. I bought him another bus pass and sent him to his brother’s, but not before I told him about a Christian men’s shelter where he should go. We decided that I’d meet him there last Tuesday after work.

I did pray for him and still do, but I didn’t see him on Tuesday. I told him he’d know where to find me – we met on the same street corner both times. I feel so blessed to have met him and do pray that he is finding his way – The Way. This was a precious thing and one of the best last weekend.

I have been reading John Piper and, without getting out of control, I am starting to understand why talking to people gives so much energy – it’s our food. When Jesus was talking to the woman at the well and the disciples came back he wasn’t hungry because He had been eating the food of the Father – speaking and sharing about His glory. That may not make sense because it’s so abbreviated, but it’s making sense to me.

Okay, I will write more later – because today is my b-day, but I wanted to finish up these thoughts before I move on.

20 things I like to 'do'

We had to write these for class and I thought it was interesting:) These are in no particular order... I just wrote as they came to mind.

1. smile
2. talk to strangers
3. finish things
4. paint/art/colors
5. run
6. kayak (and anything water or beach-related)
7. sing and dance
8. give presentations
9. organize things
10. tell stories/write stories
11. READ deep ideas/thoughts/philosophies and the Bible
12. coffee and a book
13. deep discussions with all kinds of people, especially about the Lord
14. travel
15. talk about my faith
16. be outdoors in sunshine, rain, and snow (in that order)
17. listening to music
18. love on friends and family
19. be. In the presence of my Creator
20. learning – about creation and how it brings God glory

Farmer's-Market-fresh mutsu apple

Yesterday, I woke up bright an early and perused the bustling Farmer's Market on the edge of my block. I love to walk through and smell the herbs, flowers, vegetables, and fruits that have that special farm flair. I bought raspberries, apples, and some Nicaraguan coffee from Coalition for Homeless Women.

Before I savored the first Mutsu apple, I studied its smell and feel. There is something so distinct about an apple that comes directly from the tree. It reminded me of walking behind my house, about the time school usually started, and looking for the first ripe apples. They still carry the smell of outdoors - maybe the recipe is green, open air wind, fresh rain, and country sun. Whatever it is, it's quite a bit different than buying a Granny Smith from my neighborhood Jewel.

Anyway, as I was eating the apple I realized something missing in my fall. I wanted to be sitting in a crowded football stadium on Friday night, with blankets covering the bleachers and school spirit colors overwhelmingly represented in sweatshirts and caps. I wanted to watch the kickoff as the sun blazed across the field and warmed my face. I wanted to feel the slight chill in the breeze as I pulled my fleece a little closer to my chin. I wanted to cheer on #10 or coach, pacing on the sideline.

I can safely say I'm not obsessed with football as a sport, but I do sincerely miss being around the atmosphere it creates. I have grown up cheering for family and family teams and it's a tradition that is more than the hot chocolate and popcorn I would eat with my grandparents. My brother Sam would love to launch into the deep reasons football is so important - he's found such a neat way to love, teach, and learn through the whole process.

Anyway, that was random, but a thought (to me) that was worthy of writing.

I'll hopefully write more soon -- because SO much has happened here. The Lord is good! I guess I find it easier to write these sorts of stories than to actually unpack just what it is the Lord is doing and how intricately He's caring about my life.

grace and peace.

humiliation: lessons learned

Well, for starters let’s just say that this happened to be the theme of my Thursday. Not in a ‘clear the area here comes a breakdown’ kind of way, but more in a ‘I’m new here and still don’t know very much about work, city, and cigars’ kind of way.

Details aren’t important, but I just learned about the refining process of having many eyes and perspectives examine one’s work before it gets to the place its going.

For the enjoyment of whoever reads this, I will expand on my experience with cigars:).

So it’s only my second night on my own as hostess. I’m starting to feel more comfortable in the powerful pilot seat at Sullivan’s, where my strong influence spans about 10 feet on all sides. I love chatting with customers and playing the part of the refined, well-to-do. It’s really kind of like make-believe when I was a kid. I put on dress-up clothes, polish my manners, stand up straight, and flash a most genuine smile.

Well, last night I was on the closing shift, so my co-pilot left me flying solo at about 8:30. No problem, I’m a clever girl, right? Well, it just so happens that my little station became the social hub (mostly due to the fact that I hold the keys to the cigar cabinet) and all of a sudden many different people were making many different demands.

Cool and collected, I did my best, which I thought turned out pretty well – smoothing over awkward situations that revealed my ignorance by joking or humoring our guests. This worked – until I found out from the girls upstairs that I had sold cigars to some gentlemen who also asked me to cut them… and I cut the wrong end. Yes, that’s right. There are two ends to a cigar, and it’s pretty obvious which end one would smoke out of, but apparently with my focus on smoothing-over my lack of cigarspeak, I completely cut off the wrong end. So, when they went to smoke they were dreadfully confused.
The funny part was that within minutes everyone in the restaurant knew. I am not really one to hide my blunders, so I would start to share and then they’d say, “Oh, you’re the one?”

Hmm. Oh well, I’m back at it again tonight, but hopefully I will get off early. I have a much delayed date with my Bible, Acts, journal, and that beautiful thing called slumber.

Can this be my life?

Okay, so the past few days have been interesting, to be sure. It’s not that I’ve lost my faith in people, but you can be sure that my welcoming Chicago smile is accompanied by a wary eye. I have to preface this by saying I have never felt unsafe or in danger here – Chicago is a great, safe city. But there are things about cities that are just quite a bit different than the wide open spaces of my childhood.

One of my biggest passions (and don’t be confused – it does get me into trouble sometimes, but it is not a major downfall) is people. I love people – their stories, history, and dreams. I like to come alongside a person and understand how they would feel loved, whether that’s remembering a name or making a point to cross paths routinely. It’s not a big surprise that people like to be appreciated, recognized, and valued. I love to see the light in their eyes when they are.

Well, this passion has brought me into some unique encounters… I just wish they were with women and not older men. When I say older I mean the magazine man at the end of the street who is probably 75… and the man I met under an awning in the rain who was probably in his late sixties. He was a nice sort – business man who was living large on Lakeshore Drive.
I am always very upfront with who (and whose) I am. This guy was a native Chicagoan, so we chatted about the city and I talked about how grateful I was that I had found a faith community. It’s absurd to me that these gentlemen wouldn’t pick up these OBVIOUS clues I lay down. But, Lakeshore man was asking for my number and a pizza/beer get together by the end of 3 minute conversation. WHAT? I just don’t get it. I mean he was nice, but without exchanging numbers I told him we’re sure to run into each other, being from the same neighborhood. The funny thing is – for all of you who say “Of course they talk to you – you’re a sweet, Midwestern blonde with a happy face on!” Well, to you I say that on this particular meeting I was wearing a blue poncho that covered every bit except my face, with my backpack protruding like a hunchback behind me.

I love a delightful conversation… I truly do. I would rather eat soap than pass up someone who wants to tell me about their life. It’s one of those thing that give me energy – after listening and making connections, I feel like my day has purpose. The next time I see George, Chris, or the nameless Italian lady on the bus on the way to work we’ll smile. We recognize each other and I’m instantly encouraged in those little connections. I’ve said this before about Poland, but I sincerely am starting to see Christ’s creative work in the lives of these strangers. In church this past Sunday I learned about the long conversation that the Lord has with His creation. I have no idea what the Lord is doing, how He is pulling or prodding, and how He may be softening a heart. Yet, regardless of where they are, God calls me to the same service: love. Conversation is a way to show and spread love, because people understand the interest and investment it is to let a stranger in.

Now, the slightly scary addition to this story is what happened this morning. I was getting on the subway a little later than usual, because I was going to a program trip instead of work. Everything was normal going through the turnstile and down the stairs. I scanned the crowd gathered to wait for trains and scoped out a spot and waited only a few moments for the train. As I stepped on, I felt pressure behind me (not uncommon when crowding on to the el), but I thought I felt someone inside my purse. I turned around just in time to see the edge of my wallet going under this large man’s coat. Ah! I can’t tell you what went through my mind but all that came out was, “Uh, excuse me?” in a really weak whisper. I’m not even sure that he heard me, but just as the subway doors were about to close, he gave it back. Yeah! First of all, with all my faith in people, I never expected this movie-scene to play out on this Monday morning. Second, I was so disoriented that my reaction wasn’t in the slightest how one would act when your identity is about to be stolen. Third, he gave it back. This is the part that is so confusing to me… he could have easily left and I would’ve done nothing more than stand stunned as the subway pulled away from my little life in the white wallet.

God had already softened that man’s heart before he even took my wallet. That’s the only thing I can figure – God had control over the situation and his unlikely response. Well, I have to process a lot more from everything I'm learning about the Old Testament, relationships, and life. I'll have to pick up on that later.