I feel almost as dead as the minks and rabbits coming in to Sullivan's, only I don't have near as snobby of an owner. Last night, a woman insisted we had her Crystal Fox (they kept saying this over and over like I knew what it was and should be amazed) fur somewhere, but we could NOT find it ... later I saw them leaving with their coats - apparently they left them upstairs in the lounge.
Let's just say last night I had to fight for joy. I literally felt in a struggle for what I was going to let take my evening. I rushed out of my last day of internship like a wild banshee and ran from train to train to bus to my apartment, switched out my clothes and ran to work (all this running is literal - I was out of breath!) Then, I got to work and found out, unbeknownst to me, they had changed my start time to 1/2 an hour later! It was one of those ... you've GOT to be kidding me. But, at the same time, that means I wasn't late. Anyway... I would have given anything to be Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia and, instead of retrieving coats for the social elite, retreating into a mystical, wonderful world beyond that cramped closet.
Yet, while I was there, I got a text from a friend. His day had been amazing and full of grace, and hadn't mine? (he said)
And I thought, "self. that's about enough. you are not going to be content with the simple pleasures of being angry, frustrated, and anxious. No, no! You are going to reach for the vacation on the sea - joy!!
So, when one guy asked me, "Tell me, do you like this job?" I simply said, "Well, that's relative. But do I have joy? Yes."
Then he said something like, well of course that's because you just saw me come down the stairs.
Oh man. But, can I just go back to remind myself that GOD is providing through this job. He is providing my rent and opening doors to relationships.
Enough about Sullivan's - yesterday was my last official day as Opportunity intern. From this point on, my relationship will be of the true, working world employee nature. I am going to continue doing temp work for the conference in May.
My boss took me out for Mediterranean food - definitely one of my favorite ethnic varieties. MMmm was it good! I wish I could explain the impact that this relationship has had on my semester and my life as a whole... But for now those words will have to do. I just hope all this "processing" I keep putting off will happen sometime, otherwise I could see a 100 car pileup on my brain highway - not good, considering I don't really trust the drivers up there in the first place!
Okay, I should finish this up. I'm going to do my morning bible study and then hang out with my roomie and do some hard core cleaning - yay! One last thing - I finished up my papers for class - 3 in all at 4:30 Wednesday morning. I know - that is definitely the first time I've done that since freshmen year when I thought it was cool and "college."
Even if it's not what the profs. want, I am happy with how they turned out... and it was truly a discovery process. I'll have to write more (later) about some of the startling things I learned about myself. I realized how much pressure I'd been feeling to 'keep up appearances,' meanwhile my true energies and gifts weren't being fully utilized.