Tonight I learned a new word. I'm not sure quite how to spell it because it was a made-up word. It means that your ear is "wobbly and has lots of parts." Well, that's what Jack told me anyway when he described his ears as faubnoddle. I'm still not exactly sure if that's what it was, but he was entirely convinced. He said that you can't give a zerbert on someone's ear because they are faubnoddle. And that was that.
Wow. I have to say Paul had some kind of foresight to write "forgetting what is behind and strain toward what lies ahead." Cap and gown lies just ahead. And, yes, it's all those things - you know - all those things that are written neatly and cleverly on greeting cards. It's a 'new beginning' and a 'great achievement' and the first steps in the 'real world.' Really, anything can be made fuzzy and sentimental, but what is the point of this whole charade?
What a question to ask, right? I mean, you'd think I have enough theses, models, and paradigms mixed up in my brain! As I'm looking around, we're just trying to get past this week. We're just trying to finish, get to the other side, take pictures next to tulips and on the beach, and smile with that accomplished grin.
I better just lay it out right now. I am no more accomplished than I was as a feisty, blue eye-shadowed middle-schooler (I was actually probably more confident then). If there's anything in me working towards something I can attain, my sorrow will always shadow my joy. Woe is me! For I am a woman of unclean lips and I live with a people of unclean lips. I can't wait to one day see what Isaiah saw when he came before the Lord. The whole of his being knew conviction and became aware of God's righteousness.
Praise God! For we are redeemed and called His children by name. I still can't fathom it.
My wish to write more will soon give way to worry over stresses, so I'll have to leave off. There's a whole lot stirring in the Spirit. I want to leave the lyrics of a beautiful song we sang in community last week:
There is a sweet,
anointing in the sanctuary
There is a stillness
in the atmosphere
So come lay down
the burdens you have carried
for in this sanctuary
God is here
He is here
God is here
To take the yoke
and lift the heavy burden
He is here
God is here
To restore the wounded heart
and bless the broken
So, come lay down
the burdens you have carried
for in this sanctuary
God is here
Amen and amen.
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