Ok, so we’re breaking from regularly scheduled programming today. Since this blog started up with Caroline and myself, we’ve been trying to write it like a magazine, with articles each week. Well, today I want to write on it like a blog. And since I’m one of the founding members, I believe I will :)
So, a lot has happened in the last 3 weeks in my world. I decided to turn up the heat on the job search; I made some amazing new friends that I just couldn’t get enough of, and it looked like this was gearing up to be a great summer. Nights out on the patio talking later than I’d like but strangely not caring about the time, and calls from companies that think I’m pretty great, along with time spent with God thanking him for all these blessings, were filling my days with joy and praise for the One who makes great plans for his children.
Fast forward a few weeks, and one new friend went AWOL, another turned into kind of a weird situation that breaks my heart, and anxiously awaiting God’s timing for movement on the job front has turned from joyous expectation to frustrating clock-watching.
…And I keep thinking that you know, a few weeks ago before these changes happened, I was happy. I had plenty of friends- great ones, whom I love so dearly. I was fine at my job. Not happy, but fine. Then these last few weeks everything got shook up. And the thing is- it was great. So, so great. It was awesome to have new exciting friendships that made me feel like I’d stepped back into college. It was a forgotten thought, to think that God might work it out for me to step into a job that would engage my talents and my heart.
So now I have to think, did it all change? Did God change his mind, and I’m to stay here, because the sweet company that I applied at didn’t call back the day they said they would? Is it going to be a lonely summer just because I’m missing two friends to whom I’ve only recently grown attached? And maybe it’s just me, and I’m probably just ungrateful, but it seems like everyone has really terrible advice about all of it. Sisters and best friends all saying things that didn’t seem to help at all. Last night, though, my roommate said something that made today feel like the sky had opened up again. I think it was something to the effect of “That’s hard… I’m sorry… but you’ll be ok”
I think that’s all I really needed to hear. Because you know, it IS hard. And I WILL be ok. For God is the same yesterday and today and tomorow, and he has the same great plan for his children whether they're seeing the glass half empty or full, whether things are looking good or very, very bad. So I'm resting in that. Resting, and listening to the new Coldplay CD online, and really smiling, for the first time all week.