O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Tonight a few of us from the ALP staff gathered in the youth room for prayer, praise, and worship. This prayer (though more eloquent) sounds so much like our heart's desire to just want more God. As we come before His throne humbled and broken, my tendency is to feel frustrated by my failure... to be ashamed of my sorry attempts at goodness.
One of my new roommates shares in her testimony about a time when she was on the other side of the world, in a country resistant (if not hostile) to the Gospel, with a mission team. Somehow she found herself deeply bonding with a native speaker with lots of questions. As my friend looked around, she saw every single person on her team more qualified to be in her place - talking, loving, and answering questions. But, she said, God didn't choose them. He chose me.
That part of her story speaks so powerfully to the ministry God has called me (and you) to live out. Though there are those people absolutely suited for a certain task, though you may feel the least equipped, and though you may doubt God's wisdom in placing you there... He never makes mistakes. For such a time as this, God chooses the weak to show His strength.
I'm reminded of the story of Esther, where God didn't choose the most powerful to save the Jewish nation from ruin at the hands of an ignorant king. God chose Esther.
And may God receive all the glory for the times He chooses the weakest, most feeble and miserable creatures to carry out His kingdom work.