Thursday, January 22, 2009
A week of tears
Hello long-lost friends! Christina here, your long lost other half of the foreign heart team. At least, I hope Caroline still considers me part of the team. I started a new journey about 4 1/2 months ago (quitting my job and getting a new one in youth ministry- ahh!) and it has changed my whole world. My life has turned upside down, and I wouldn't want it to go back. But I do miss you all, and having time to talk to my dear sister every once and awhile...
Anyway- it's been quite a week... kind of not in a good way. I've cried this week more times than I can count. Big, fat crocodile tears in the shower, in a meeting, and driving down the road. It's just been one of those weeks. Started Sat. with some car troubles, but has continued into something that's taken on a life of its own.
Honestly- I can't remember a time that I have felt like this- so hopeless, so despondent, so free of true joy. I was trying to explain it to Tina on Tues. night and after awhile she just said- Christina, nothing you are saying is making sense. Are you sure you're not being attacked? After trying to talk her out of this insane and frankly, offensive accusation for awhile, I realized she was right.
And why not? Why wouldn't satan attack me with accusations of worthlessness, alone-ness, and sadness? Why wouldn't satan whisper to me lies of discontentment, uneasiness, and distrust? Why wouldn't he try and make me ineffective for God's gospel and glory? When things at Valley Church are MOVING, when things are SHAKING up, when EXCITING things are happening, WHY WOULDN'T HE ATTACK THAT?
So I fight. For joy- for time with the Lord- for unity in our team.
Will you fight with me? Will you pray that God would continue to move mightily in Valley Church Student Ministries? Will you pray that satan's attacks on our team would be useless? Would you pray that our staff retreat this weekend will sustain us and give us communication we desperately need? Would you pray that we would come back ready to fight for his kingdom?
Thank you, friends. I love you all.