Hello. Welcome.

I'm a very determined kind of individual. Sometimes my determination is misplaced and things get very ugly. But, sometimes my determination leads to laughter, deep thoughts, and words on paper.

I write everything. I'm not very good at filtering ... so you will see it all. Maybe there will be a little inspiration for someone else along the way. I hope so. My sister also likes to guest blog and I'm sure you will appreciate her wit and wisdom.

Friday, April 02, 2010

sensical straights, a poem

so I thought I wanted to control every piece,
to put in order and stuff into sensical straights
all the ways my life colors outside the lines

I thought I could force my body to stretch so far
and hold so fast that nothing is left behind,
not even the smallest hope or dream outside my reach

I thought that this holding together would be, well, the life of me
I thought if I held everything together I would stay in tact too.
...because a great, monstrous fear is to unravel
until only a heaping mess of life-yarn remains

now, if I could put a lasso around what most confuses me
and all the ways my randomness leaves disasters
of colors and shapes and people stranded

if I could somehow capture this crazy, inner, picasso-sized mess
and train it, conform it, teach it, mold and shape it...
until finally it becomes standard and organized and disciplined

then my guilt might not have such a strong voice
to guide and scream and gnaw and attack and whisper
at all the things I haven't done or all the ways I've failed

but, now I see my thoughts are incomplete
can I hope for perfection by imperfect means?
does another failure and more guilt await
after this hopeful process of control?


inspired by chapters 10/11 of Reason for God by Timothy Keller
thoughts welcome!

write your own poem this month in the spirit of April=poetry month!

as always,
let LOVE FLY like cRaZY

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