sent a letter

So, I just sent an email to the head of the missions committee at my home church. I tried to say something about my 'intentions for missions.' I can't get over how presumptious that sounds. By the end, I was writing, "The first thing you'll probably say and I need to hear is pray. amen."
I don't know what it is about us, maybe just me, that has a hard time getting over the production aspect of prayer and getting to the relational. I know I wrote on here before about how I've been learning that we are relational people, made in the image of a Trinitarian God. So, why do we pray as though our God only half hears and what comes back from our petitions is merely the product of an exchange. Eww. It sounds so.... human.

But, we can't have it both ways. We can't insist that our God is big, mighty, and TRUTH, but also confine our prayers and expectations to an exchange. Because God doesn't need anything we have. Only by his mercy are we even allowed into the scheme at all. I should by bursting with the knowledge that I can have this relationship. I should be dancing like David that I can play a part. But, I still choose to pray dutifully, without much expectation. Wait, let me re-phrase that, I still choose to pray (sometimes) out of duty.

I'm getting used to this honest exposure, but it's not making it any easier.

Anyway, I'm about to go to our house bible study. We are using the Beth Moore study called Believing God. If you ever need a good, southern kick in the pants about your faith - a talk that'll fire you up and get you running from your spiritual couch - Beth Moore uses Scripture to show that belief, true belief, in God is not past or future. She uses the words present-active-participle. Which is something like believing in the continually acting always going, building, and learning sense. It's so HUGE - this belief. That kind of makes sense, beings that our God is HUGE and, although our belief can never match his HUGENESS, believing is an on-going action.

Well, I've got to get going.