where once guilt crept

Today has been strange. Last night I had a mission trip meeting that started after school and ended... this morning when the last student left at 6:00 am. What? Yes, that's right. Just how it goes, I guess. Today, I thought I would get a ride home after school and I ended up in the back of a pick-up truck riding around the city with students making up raps on the fly, taking funny pictures, eating pizza at their house, and having an ice cube sucking contest. Just how it goes, I guess. :)

Today was the second day of Lent and I'm still processing everything. There is so much welling up in me to write and at the same time tomorrow looms so large.

I wanted to at least share a few things with you tonight, as I reflect on this Lenten journey (or at least try my best effort at reflection). I have been emotional lately. We are such a failed people. The waterworks are threatening now even as I try to punch this out before I crawl into bed and read more BRP before bed. I've been listening quite a bit to Brooks Ritter and he has a song called, "Samaritan's Love" that rips my heart open a little more every time. This is currently my favorite line,

cause the debt that was mine

yeah you paid every dime

where once guilt crept

now peace in me dwells

where once guilt crept

now peace in me dwells

These words keep running circles around whatever pressing matter vies for my brain's attention. The thought that the peace of Christ could actually replace guilt... it's heavy.

I started a Lenten devotional through www.Christianbook.com (you can find it here) and I read about how we usually try to 'give up something' for Lent to regain focus or purpose or whatever it is that we are lacking. We usually exchange what we've given up for an only somewhat lesser distraction (sugar for splenda, coke for tea, TV for books).

The devotional challenged me to think about what I am adding during these 40 days. Jesus went into the wilderness to be completely emptied. There was nothing earthly that was keeping Him alive after those 40 days. When He was completely emptied, we see something beautiful unfold. Satan came at His emptiest point to tempt Him - to offer the deception that earthly things would satisfy. Jesus responded that he was eating the bread of life, that He was depending on it for His very life. He intentionally walked out into the wilderness to be emptied of everything human so that He could be filled with everything holy.

Am I ready to be that willing, that intentional, and that ... empty?

If I want to be holy, my answer must be yes.

.let love fly like crazy.